I've been away. Life once again got the better of me. Things were rolling along. I went back to school. Finally finishing my degree and knocking a biggie off my bucket list. My husband was inspired to go back to school as well. Things were a bit crazy, but we were trucking along. We were making major plans.
Then the rug was pulled out from under us.
My husband headed to work just before Christmas. He was returning after 3 days off. A few hours later he was standing at the door. He had been blindsided by a request to resign or be fired.
He resigned
He knew his current boss didn't care for him. Things had been rocky at work for awhile, he had even debated leaving, but we were so close to finally being on top of things financially he decided to stick it out.
Then this hit.
Of course they had "reasons", but they were the kind of things you could tag on any employee.
He had received a commendation a few days before.
He had some of the best numbers in the department.
He was in shock.
I cried for two days straight.
Who fires someone at Christmas without good reason? (a reason like he did something illegal or immoral)
I was panicked. We returned Christmas gifts so we could have extra money to get through this.
It sucked.
But the world did not end.
Our kiddos had an amazing Christmas and so did we.
Our family has stepped up to help us out in big and little ways.
We realized if we have to go through these crappy things in life, then we are blessed to be doing it together.
Things are still hanging by a thread.
Our saving were minimal.
My husband was out of work for nearly a year when the recession began. We had just nearly dug our way out of that hole and we have had medical and life expenses that have eaten up all the extra.
I'm not sure how we will pay bills. We are learning to live with less.
We have some serious decisions to make in the next couple of weeks.
I still cry sometimes.
But mostly I am grateful.
Grateful for my family who is always there through good and bad.
Grateful that this has made us closer instead of pushing us apart.
Grateful for the opportunity to really and truly discover what is important.
Grateful.
Wednesday, January 4, 2012
Friday, June 17, 2011
We're Here - The Move From Hell
I don't mean to offend anyone, but I have to call a spade a spade.
So we moved.
It was possibly the single worst month of my life. Everything that could go wrong did. It has been an epic disaster that we continue to slog our way through one day at a time. I'll try to bring y'all up to speed.
It was the day before the move. I was packing up all the last minute and "Ack! I forgot to pack all that!" stuff. It was late afternoon. Jeff was at work and the kids were being happily babysat by a movie while I packed. (Don't judge! Sometimes the tv babysitter is a true necessity!)
I realized I was running out of boxes so I paused the movie, packed up the kids and headed out to get a few more at Home Depot. It was a quick trip. It started raining on while we were out, so I ran the kids into the house then headed back out in the now pouring rain to get the boxes from the car. I was carrying the pile of boxes flat across my arms as I rushed to get inside and out of the rain.
Before I knew it, I was propelling forward, out of control. Unable to see the ground due to the boxes, I had stepped on some of the gumballs that had fallen from the sycamore tree in front of our house. My ankle rolled and I went flying. As soon as my hand hit I heard awful cracking sounds. I had never broken a bone before, but I knew that is what had just happened. I sat there a little nauseous and shaking in the rain.
It took a few minutes before I could get up. I was soaked, muddy and in PAIN!
I made my way inside and cleaned up a bit. I called my husband at work. He could run by, (one benefit we used to have is we lived a block outside his jurisdiction)but they were short an officer that night so he couldn't come home. I took off my rings (it was my left hand). I debated waiting to get it seen, but with the move in the morning I knew that was going to be even worse. My husband came by and looked at it. He thought it was only sprained or bruised.
I looked at the time. The Urgent Care Center near us closed in a little over an hour. The copay for Urgent Care is $50, the copay for the ER, $250. I decided to go to Urgent Care even if it meant they sent me home with just a bruise.
I called my 18 year old daughter, who was on a date. I told her what had happened and asked if she could come watch the kids while I went and had my hand checked. She headed over (boyfriend in tow) and I went in.
A couple of hours later I was headed home in a temporary cast. My hand was still swelling and the pain was getting worse. It was definitely broken. I was under orders not to lift anything and to keep my hand elevated for the next few days at least.
And we were moving in the morning.
And we had painting and cleaning that still had to be done.
And it was still pouring rain.
The next day things didn't improve. With all the rain most of our volunteer movers had mysteriously vanished. My brothers were busy working on the house, which was by now behind schedule and over budget. We still didn't have an occupancy permit. I couldn't do anything.
My poor husband and his good friend did most of the moving by themselves. Both of them were so sore by the end of the day!!! I felt awful for them! But it was a little funny to see the realization that they are indeed approaching middle age and cannot do everything they used to do!
The one good thing, my parents were out of town, which meant we could stay at their house for a few days since there was no way we could stay at the new place.
The new house was all kinds of a disaster. There had definitely been setbacks and miscommunication. It all involved family so that made it more difficult to deal with. It was filthy, still full of work stuff and things that had been stored over there. Work I expected would be finished was not, and I found out it wasn't going to be done. I discovered several major problems with the house I hadn't seen before. I realized two of the rooms we hoped to use would be unusable. I had to rethink how we were going to use the space.
I worried that this whole move was a huge mistake.
Several other things happened.
We had a major big-time financial setback that was mostly my fault.
Then, my 18 year old daughter, angry about the move, decided she didn't want anything to do with helping us, and she wasn't going to move in with us either. Her reasons were hurtful and misguided, and frankly, in my opinion, mostly stuff she used as an excuse for her real reason, which was, I have much higher expectations of her than her father does. I think highly enough of her to expect her to live up to her potential which, yes, requires work. I wanted her to have a summer job, to take classes at the community college and do some things to further herself. I think that a summer that consists of no more than sleeping late, taking a couple of vacations, sitting on her father's couch watching tv, playing video games and hanging out with her boyfriend is unacceptable. She thinks it is normal and I am out of line.
No matter what the reality, if I was right or wrong, or she was. It hurt me deeply.
Couple that with a huge amount of pain and the stress of moving into a disaster and I plunged into a major depressive episode.
I have had issues with some depression before in my life. It had been a really long time since I have dealt with it. It is getting better day-by-day. I am looking at seeing someone about it now in order to ensure that it doesn't happen again. It was really awful and scary.
My hand is getting better and I am able to do more.
I am moving forward and trying to make the best of this so-far-disastrous move.
("This will not become The Money Pit. This will NOT become The Money Pit." I chant to myself over and over - Positive thinking will reap rewards, right?)
I am determined to make this a Good Home.
Lately it has been mostly about cleaning (when I say this place was/is filthy I am NOT exaggerating! There is dust/dirt 3/4 of an inch deep in places)and figuring out which rooms will be used for what. I think we finally have that part settled.
I want to move on to the decorating as my budget and my kids allow, but right now I am overwhelmed and I seem to have encountered a major mental roadblock. I am working out how to best deal with it For now, I have scrapped much of my color palette for walls and have decided to pretty much paint the entire house white with grey-ish beige (greige) trim. A consequence of finding out that much of our trim is pretty banged up, much is painted (perhaps at one time with lead paint) and I just need to make things clean and cohesive. I really want pale blue ceilings, but my husband hasn't quite gotten on board with that idea.
Due to my gimpy hand and missing sewing machine pieces, I missed the deadline for the Solids-Only Challenge my Modern Quilt Guild was having, but I am going to finish it anyway now that I can use my hand more. I was only able to complete a couple of the blocks prior to being knocked out of the mix, but I really like how they look so far. I do think there is probably an easier way to do this, but hey, it's all a learning process, right? I'll share my progress here shortly.
I'll leave you with some of the good things from the last few weeks that remind me why I love living in the city!
This is just some of what we've been busy doing, and a bonus- I've just gone through just 1/2 a tank of gas in 2 weeks!
I'll be back more regularly now, though probably not daily. It is difficult, as the kids are sleeping in the room with the computer right now while we work on some issues with their bedroom.
So we moved.
It was possibly the single worst month of my life. Everything that could go wrong did. It has been an epic disaster that we continue to slog our way through one day at a time. I'll try to bring y'all up to speed.
It was the day before the move. I was packing up all the last minute and "Ack! I forgot to pack all that!" stuff. It was late afternoon. Jeff was at work and the kids were being happily babysat by a movie while I packed. (Don't judge! Sometimes the tv babysitter is a true necessity!)
I realized I was running out of boxes so I paused the movie, packed up the kids and headed out to get a few more at Home Depot. It was a quick trip. It started raining on while we were out, so I ran the kids into the house then headed back out in the now pouring rain to get the boxes from the car. I was carrying the pile of boxes flat across my arms as I rushed to get inside and out of the rain.
Before I knew it, I was propelling forward, out of control. Unable to see the ground due to the boxes, I had stepped on some of the gumballs that had fallen from the sycamore tree in front of our house. My ankle rolled and I went flying. As soon as my hand hit I heard awful cracking sounds. I had never broken a bone before, but I knew that is what had just happened. I sat there a little nauseous and shaking in the rain.
It took a few minutes before I could get up. I was soaked, muddy and in PAIN!
I made my way inside and cleaned up a bit. I called my husband at work. He could run by, (one benefit we used to have is we lived a block outside his jurisdiction)but they were short an officer that night so he couldn't come home. I took off my rings (it was my left hand). I debated waiting to get it seen, but with the move in the morning I knew that was going to be even worse. My husband came by and looked at it. He thought it was only sprained or bruised.
I looked at the time. The Urgent Care Center near us closed in a little over an hour. The copay for Urgent Care is $50, the copay for the ER, $250. I decided to go to Urgent Care even if it meant they sent me home with just a bruise.
I called my 18 year old daughter, who was on a date. I told her what had happened and asked if she could come watch the kids while I went and had my hand checked. She headed over (boyfriend in tow) and I went in.
A couple of hours later I was headed home in a temporary cast. My hand was still swelling and the pain was getting worse. It was definitely broken. I was under orders not to lift anything and to keep my hand elevated for the next few days at least.
 |
| This was taken 4 days after the fall. It shows the swelling, but not the bruising. that hadn't really come into it's full glory... |
And we were moving in the morning.
And we had painting and cleaning that still had to be done.
And it was still pouring rain.
The next day things didn't improve. With all the rain most of our volunteer movers had mysteriously vanished. My brothers were busy working on the house, which was by now behind schedule and over budget. We still didn't have an occupancy permit. I couldn't do anything.
My poor husband and his good friend did most of the moving by themselves. Both of them were so sore by the end of the day!!! I felt awful for them! But it was a little funny to see the realization that they are indeed approaching middle age and cannot do everything they used to do!
The one good thing, my parents were out of town, which meant we could stay at their house for a few days since there was no way we could stay at the new place.
The new house was all kinds of a disaster. There had definitely been setbacks and miscommunication. It all involved family so that made it more difficult to deal with. It was filthy, still full of work stuff and things that had been stored over there. Work I expected would be finished was not, and I found out it wasn't going to be done. I discovered several major problems with the house I hadn't seen before. I realized two of the rooms we hoped to use would be unusable. I had to rethink how we were going to use the space.
I worried that this whole move was a huge mistake.
Several other things happened.
We had a major big-time financial setback that was mostly my fault.
Then, my 18 year old daughter, angry about the move, decided she didn't want anything to do with helping us, and she wasn't going to move in with us either. Her reasons were hurtful and misguided, and frankly, in my opinion, mostly stuff she used as an excuse for her real reason, which was, I have much higher expectations of her than her father does. I think highly enough of her to expect her to live up to her potential which, yes, requires work. I wanted her to have a summer job, to take classes at the community college and do some things to further herself. I think that a summer that consists of no more than sleeping late, taking a couple of vacations, sitting on her father's couch watching tv, playing video games and hanging out with her boyfriend is unacceptable. She thinks it is normal and I am out of line.
No matter what the reality, if I was right or wrong, or she was. It hurt me deeply.
Couple that with a huge amount of pain and the stress of moving into a disaster and I plunged into a major depressive episode.
I have had issues with some depression before in my life. It had been a really long time since I have dealt with it. It is getting better day-by-day. I am looking at seeing someone about it now in order to ensure that it doesn't happen again. It was really awful and scary.
My hand is getting better and I am able to do more.
I am moving forward and trying to make the best of this so-far-disastrous move.
("This will not become The Money Pit. This will NOT become The Money Pit." I chant to myself over and over - Positive thinking will reap rewards, right?)
I am determined to make this a Good Home.
Lately it has been mostly about cleaning (when I say this place was/is filthy I am NOT exaggerating! There is dust/dirt 3/4 of an inch deep in places)and figuring out which rooms will be used for what. I think we finally have that part settled.
I want to move on to the decorating as my budget and my kids allow, but right now I am overwhelmed and I seem to have encountered a major mental roadblock. I am working out how to best deal with it For now, I have scrapped much of my color palette for walls and have decided to pretty much paint the entire house white with grey-ish beige (greige) trim. A consequence of finding out that much of our trim is pretty banged up, much is painted (perhaps at one time with lead paint) and I just need to make things clean and cohesive. I really want pale blue ceilings, but my husband hasn't quite gotten on board with that idea.
Due to my gimpy hand and missing sewing machine pieces, I missed the deadline for the Solids-Only Challenge my Modern Quilt Guild was having, but I am going to finish it anyway now that I can use my hand more. I was only able to complete a couple of the blocks prior to being knocked out of the mix, but I really like how they look so far. I do think there is probably an easier way to do this, but hey, it's all a learning process, right? I'll share my progress here shortly.
I'll leave you with some of the good things from the last few weeks that remind me why I love living in the city!
 |
| The kids playing in the fountain at Tower Grove Park. A gorgeous Victorian era park we can walk to that brings together people from all walks of life |
 |
| The Zoo (Free!!!) and all the Forest Park attractions (also Free! Including the Art Museum and Science Center) an easy 5 minutes drive away |
 |
| Concert at the Band Pavilion at Tower Grove Park |
 | |||
| Weekly Summer Kids' Concert Series at Piper Palm House - also at Tower Grove Park |
I'll be back more regularly now, though probably not daily. It is difficult, as the kids are sleeping in the room with the computer right now while we work on some issues with their bedroom.
Wednesday, May 11, 2011
Moving Madness
We have had a CRAZY week!
My second oldest had so much going on leading up to her graduation last night, including Prom on Saturday and all the rest of the end-of-the-year craziness that always ensues.
Of course, she looked gorgeous at prom and I couldn't have been a prouder mama at her graduation.
Now we are in full-on moving mode. My house is quickly filling with boxes and we are eating out more and more as we try not to move or throw away more food than we have to.
We are still saying prayers that the house will be ready on Sunday, but we do have a back-up plan just in case.
My second oldest had so much going on leading up to her graduation last night, including Prom on Saturday and all the rest of the end-of-the-year craziness that always ensues.
Of course, she looked gorgeous at prom and I couldn't have been a prouder mama at her graduation.
Now we are in full-on moving mode. My house is quickly filling with boxes and we are eating out more and more as we try not to move or throw away more food than we have to.
We are still saying prayers that the house will be ready on Sunday, but we do have a back-up plan just in case.
Friday, May 6, 2011
Epic Makeover Run Has Ended!
I found out first thing this morning that I did not make the cut for the Final 5 in Mandi's Epic Makeover.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't a little disappointed. It would have been awesome to have Mandi come and makeover my space! She has been so sweet through this entire contest that I am sure working with her would have been amazing!
All the remaining contestants look great! There is a contestant from Atlanta still in the running. I am pulling for her, since it's the closest to Saint Louis, so maybe I can road trip down and have the chance to meet Mandi!
I guess I'll just have to pull up these bootstraps and get crackin' on the decorating myself.
It will be fun! (or at least funny! A comedy of errors perhaps) I hope you will all stick around for the adventure that is the making of our Good Home!
What do you think is the feasibility of mainlining caffeine so I can stay awake 24 hours a day to make this happen...I can only work while the kids are asleep!
I mean this is what I am dealing with all day~
This is what my kids were busy doing while I was in the kitchen packing.
Yes, the cat is actually in there.
I can't leave them alone for 5 minutes with out some sort of mayhem.
I love it though.
~Milica
I'm linking up with the Company Girls
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't a little disappointed. It would have been awesome to have Mandi come and makeover my space! She has been so sweet through this entire contest that I am sure working with her would have been amazing!
All the remaining contestants look great! There is a contestant from Atlanta still in the running. I am pulling for her, since it's the closest to Saint Louis, so maybe I can road trip down and have the chance to meet Mandi!
I guess I'll just have to pull up these bootstraps and get crackin' on the decorating myself.
It will be fun! (or at least funny! A comedy of errors perhaps) I hope you will all stick around for the adventure that is the making of our Good Home!
What do you think is the feasibility of mainlining caffeine so I can stay awake 24 hours a day to make this happen...I can only work while the kids are asleep!
I mean this is what I am dealing with all day~
Yes, the cat is actually in there.
I can't leave them alone for 5 minutes with out some sort of mayhem.
I love it though.
~Milica
I'm linking up with the Company Girls
Wednesday, May 4, 2011
We are a SEMI-FINALIST!!!
I can't believe it we are one of the semi-finalists in Mandi's Epic Room Makeover Contest!
There were SOOOO many amazing people and spaces entered!
I am stunned we were one of the chosen spaces!
('cept our space really has NO CHANCE of NOT looking spectacularly 100% more amazing than it does now!)
I am so excited and nervous I feel like barfing!
Up until now my little blog has been my private space to journal and dip my toes in the blogging world just a tiny bit.
Now I've put it all out there for all the world to see
(well, the incredibly awesome-tacular Vintage Revivals World at least!)
Yup, makes a shy girl like me want to hurl her guts out. But since Mandi loves our guts I'll keep them inside for now.
Now to wait and see if I get chosen as a finalist.
(no promises I won't be hurling if that happens!)
There were SOOOO many amazing people and spaces entered!
I am stunned we were one of the chosen spaces!
('cept our space really has NO CHANCE of NOT looking spectacularly 100% more amazing than it does now!)
I am so excited and nervous I feel like barfing!
Up until now my little blog has been my private space to journal and dip my toes in the blogging world just a tiny bit.
Now I've put it all out there for all the world to see
(well, the incredibly awesome-tacular Vintage Revivals World at least!)
Yup, makes a shy girl like me want to hurl her guts out. But since Mandi loves our guts I'll keep them inside for now.
Now to wait and see if I get chosen as a finalist.
(no promises I won't be hurling if that happens!)
Sunday, May 1, 2011
The Chosen Ones
Head over and vote for us in the Vintage Revivals Epic Room Makeover!
(Head over and vote for #22!)
Mandi is Rock-Star awesome and she could accomplish more in one week in my old house than I could do in amonth (let's be honest) a year, but The Good Home is a big ol' lady and I can't leave her naked while I hope and dream that we somehow win this thing! (if visualizing something can lead to getting it, we are winning this thing!)
Without further ado - Here are the colors I picked out yesterday from Benjamin Moore-
Man, scanning paint chips is NOT a good way to show off colors! I would look at these and say,
"Hey, 1984 was a long time ago, but not quite vintage yet! Ya planning on adding some white geese with blue bows round their necks?"
I promise they are NOT that bad!
I will be tweaking them a bit and adding colors but it's a starting point. Most of the house will be white initially anyway because I am stressed enough just trying to get moved and I don't need to add more stress.
The Palisades Park green is meant to be an accent color. It's just a great vintage-y green.
The Palladian Blue is a really great greyed blue/green color that I love. I am planning on putting it in the kitchen. This, or some variation, will probably pop up elsewhere in the house too.
Hubs has already declared my creamy yellow, Swan's Mill Cream, "boring".
Actually he said, "Do you want something this blah to be people's first impression of the house?" (It was going in the entry) Floored me! I chose it so he wouldn't freak out! I have some great yellow vintage plates/platters I may color match.
The Dove's Wing is a soft pale greige and really lovely. I am planning on using it on the kitchen cabinets. It's another color that may show up again in various shades.
The white is for the trim we have to paint around the house. Much of our lower trim is really battered and paint may be it's only salvation!
So there you have it - my initial picks - Subject to change - Well, pretty much guaranteed to change.
(Head over and vote for #22!)
Mandi is Rock-Star awesome and she could accomplish more in one week in my old house than I could do in a
Without further ado - Here are the colors I picked out yesterday from Benjamin Moore-
Man, scanning paint chips is NOT a good way to show off colors! I would look at these and say,
"Hey, 1984 was a long time ago, but not quite vintage yet! Ya planning on adding some white geese with blue bows round their necks?"
I promise they are NOT that bad!
I will be tweaking them a bit and adding colors but it's a starting point. Most of the house will be white initially anyway because I am stressed enough just trying to get moved and I don't need to add more stress.
The Palisades Park green is meant to be an accent color. It's just a great vintage-y green.
The Palladian Blue is a really great greyed blue/green color that I love. I am planning on putting it in the kitchen. This, or some variation, will probably pop up elsewhere in the house too.
Hubs has already declared my creamy yellow, Swan's Mill Cream, "boring".
Actually he said, "Do you want something this blah to be people's first impression of the house?" (It was going in the entry) Floored me! I chose it so he wouldn't freak out! I have some great yellow vintage plates/platters I may color match.
The Dove's Wing is a soft pale greige and really lovely. I am planning on using it on the kitchen cabinets. It's another color that may show up again in various shades.
The white is for the trim we have to paint around the house. Much of our lower trim is really battered and paint may be it's only salvation!
So there you have it - my initial picks - Subject to change - Well, pretty much guaranteed to change.
Saturday, April 30, 2011
VOTE For #22!!!
VOTING IS OPEN! PLEASE HEAD OVER TO VINTAGE REVIVALS AND VOTE FOR #22!!!!
REMEMBER OUR SLOGAN!
CLICKING #22 IS THE THING TO DO!
(Ok, so it's a lame slogan. I was a bit lacking in the creative department with only 4.5 hours of sleep. Feel free to submit your suggestions in the comments!)
REMEMBER OUR SLOGAN!
CLICKING #22 IS THE THING TO DO!
(Ok, so it's a lame slogan. I was a bit lacking in the creative department with only 4.5 hours of sleep. Feel free to submit your suggestions in the comments!)
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